4. Take a dance class.

The first attempt at completing something on The List. Take a dance class. I spent literally every waking moment as a child and young adult dancing. Hours upon hours per week, every week of the year, for over 15 years.

Every moment that I miss dancing, I thank the Brandywine Ballet Company and Donna Muzio for giving me my humble beginnings as a ballet dancer. I might not have thanked her at the time, in fact, I may have loathed her for the pain and the sleepless nights and the stress caused by the endless rehearsals. These days, though, I know that the BBC gave me something that I can never lose. There is a special peacefulness that washes over a person when they watch a ballet. It's not something that just anyone can understand.

Touch of Class was my second studio, when I couldn't continue taking the pressure of a semi-professional dance career and needed more fun. I went from the average dancer to one of the best at our new studio and the confidence-boost only made me stronger.

Enter college, weight loss, weight gain, studio art, losing myself and trying to find myself and I end up at Asbury Park Dance & Yoga inquiring about the Cabaret style dance class for adults. "Sassy jazz, Broadway, blues, burlesque, vaudeville...[Sometimes] rockabilly, pop, we've done dancehall," says Katie, the owner.

I am so. Effing. Excited.

The List

1. Rollerskate.
2. Take a vacation.
3. Read classics.
4. Take a dance class.
5. Sell things at the flea market.
6. Spend a weekend somewhere spontaneous.
7. Get back into Porkrollers and go to every practice.
8. Finish painting the spare room.
9. Build bookshelves.
10. Find a burlesque workshop & attend.
11. Say yes more often.
12. Write.
13. Get at least one more tattoo.
14. Go vegetarian for a month.
15. Post to .

Then I ask you now, what's a girl to do?

"Whats A Girl To Do" - Bats for Lashes

Here's the rundown. All the cards on the table. The whats, the whys, the whatevers.

I'm a girl. Mediocre at best and content to be so. A go-nowhere job with go-everywhere ideas. The big 3-0 is less than four years away and I need to accomplish something. Anything.

And this is where I will make my lists.

• create a sanctuary within my home -- a library in my extra room -- with writing on the walls and books and trinkets on the shelves
• have a proper holiday
• write something and see if it sticks
• rollerskate
• have more meaningful moments
• save more money
• don't be too much a grown-up
• make more art
• get rid of junk

edit to add:

• see more fireworks
  

An attempt to document a year of being less pathetic.